That Saturday afternoon I was in the house minding my business, getting some work done when I heard someone calling out my name. When I went outside, there were 3 people by my door. I was asked if I could open the gate because they needed to check something at the electrical meter. I opened the back gate and left them to sort out the electrical matter that had brought them to my doorstep. Once they were done, one of them announced they were leaving.

The following week, it happened again. Only this time it was just 2 people. The fundi and the neighbour’s House Manager. They said there was still a small issue they needed to check on. When the fundi opened the meter box, a wasp flew out. I tilted my head and noticed there was a wasp’s nest inside the metal meter box. I warned him to be on the lookout and like the baby girl I am, I walked back into the house and lit an incense stick, kept it close enough to the back to make sure the strong scent would deter the wasps from seeking refuge in the house.

A couple of times I had them fighting with the wasps. I was glad to be indoors because I have been stung before and it isn’t pretty. That shit is painful. It left my hand swollen, and the pain was that throbbing kind. You know that one is never pretty. As if that was not enough, a black scar. I gave them one of the incense sticks to help them out with the wasps. Maybe that was the moment I made myself a target.

A couple of minutes later, they were using my broom to kill a wasp. ‘Good for them’, I thought.

The fundi finished the business that had brought him and left. I completely forgot about the incident until later that night. I got into the shower and as I was doing the necessary, I noticed a wasp come in through the tiny window gap. I didn’t think much of it. If anything, I assumed the steam from my hot shower would make it uncomfortable that the wasp would just do an about turn and go outside where all the fresh non-steamy air was.

This one didn’t care. I was a sitting duck to be honest. No parts of me were safe. I started thinking strategically. I didn’t want to make any sudden or rushed movement so as not to startle it. Did some quick girl math and figured, I’d be safe under the running water because the wasp would struggle to fly under a running shower.

Oh, how wrong I was. Since, I felt some sense of safety, I decided to rinse my face which meant closing my eyes. Big mistake. This one knew I was keeping an eye on it because why else would it sting me immediately I closed my eyes?

My right boob was the target. The moment I felt that sting, it felt like someone had decided to change the temperature in the bathroom. This was attempted murder.

My hand found my boob real fast, and the burger was still there as if to rub it in. I pulled it off and threw it straight to the floor. Directly under the water. It struggled to get up and I guess drowned. Honestly, I was in too much pain to pay attention to how fast the wasp was drowning or suffocating or whatever was happening to it. I got out of the bathroom as fast as I could and went looking for solutions on google.

The last time this had happened, I was fully dressed, hanging some clothes when a wasp felt I had moved too close to their nest. Google had suggested the natural remedy that was cutting an onion and placing it on the affected area. 3 years later, they suggested antihistamine cream. I knew I had some lying around in the house. Just not sure where.

I went through a tonne of bags cursing out the wasp while experiencing this throbbing pain. Finally, I found the cream and by the time I was applying it, not only was my boob extremely swollen on the sting site, but it had turned pink.

Yes, I am light skin on the inside.

I quickly applied it, but it was taking a little too long to offer any kind of relief.
Out of curiosity, I decided to check the expiry date. Tell me why I had a relief cream that had expired 2 years ago?

I started freaking out because now I knew if the wasp hadn’t been sent to finish me, the cream was going to help it finish the job. For a second, I thought to wipe off the cream, but then again… it could still possibly work. I got dressed and got into bed avoiding any kind of pressure to my attacked region.

Despite the pain, I managed to fall asleep and woke up with just the evidence of the attack but no pain.
No one can convince me that that wasp wasn’t sent to avenge the death of their comrades. I could say, I was collateral damage because I was not involved. My biggest mistake was having the neighbour’s meter box attached to my house.

And that is how a wasp attempted to end me.