2017 was a bad year for me. I will not even try sugarcoat it. For some reason last year decided to frustrate me as much as it possibly could. The politics just made things worse. My excitement for the year to finally come to an end was cut short when Nick lost his brother. We haven’t even fully dealt with this so I shall not talk about it.
There was a lot of noise last year. We talked a lot. All of us. However, I felt like some of the conversations we had could have been better. They needed more flesh. Insight. Less emotions. More of conversations than attacks. Maybe even a bit of research. But that’s just me. Knowing myself, I stayed away from the noise in 2017. It was very therapeutic. That unfriend/unfollow button can do wonders for you. There was no getting caught up. It was more for my own sanity than anything else and hey… it worked.
2017 had a lot of performances going on. No I am not talking theater, this was more online. Every tragedy, pain, accident, misinformed decision even loss was milked for as many retweets as was possible. Everything was a show and with #KOT it was a new show every week if not every other day. To be honest, I don’t expect this to change any time soon, if anything it just might get worse this year. I just wish more people realized it. 99.9% of the time it has nothing to do with you. Stop making it about you! It is NOT about you!
Mental illness became one of those shows and many played it well. We were so ‘concerned’ for our ‘friends’ only when shit happened and we needed to look like we were there for them. When we needed to be dubbed the ‘good friend’. My rule with this kind of stuff is a simple one, ‘if Facebook has to remind me about your birthday, I have no business pretending I am that invested.’ Hell, when FB reminds me it’s so-and-so’s birthday, I always have the same response: “I don’t care!” Being honest with yourself is the best thing you can do for your own sanity. Just how much time and energy do you have to fake care for so many people? I have no time, nor strength. Anyway, back to mental illness, I learnt that a lot of people have no idea what mental illness is. A lot of people need to unlearn their miseducation of mental illness and mental health.
A lot happened last year and I wish I had the energy to vent about it all, but that will only make me sad and I also want to get some sleep. Now that 2018 is here, despite how it started out, I choose to remain positive and hopeful for the year. It might take a bit of time to finally get into the flow but it will happen. My promise is to encourage a lot more conversations. The right conversations. Shut out the noise and maybe be a part of the re-education we so need. Try spend more time with people and even more time with family.
I know this post is all over the place and that is the same way I feel right now so I will not try mask it. Consistency will be the order this year. I hope you all had a better start to the year than I did and that it will keep the momentum. If it started off on a low, things will turn around.