Guard Your Soul

Guard your soul

Hiiiiiiiii.

That was weird, right?

My hope is that you had an amazing weekend and your week is off to a great start. Mine is off to a great start and I look forward to all the cool stuff it’s about to offer.

There’s been drama in my life the past couple of weeks. From random super entitled neighbors (post for another day) to horny cats that now know how to sneak out and they can’t get enough of the outside world. Sigh. The past few days have just been weird.

It’s all good though.

We were going through a pretty dull patch the other day and it got me thinking about our interactions with people and what they actually mean. My thoughts took me back to the days I was going through serious depression. I have been battling depression for about 5 years now and in that time I can count the people who have been there for me on one hand.

Funny thing is that they were also battling their own demons at about the same time. Some people I considered friends went as far as laughing at me and discussing my breakdowns with others in a WhatsApp group. Grown ass men discussing you in a group. Sounds pretty crazy, right?  These men have never come to me to ask what caused my breakdown. These men have never talked to me about it.  They never apologized. Yes, I feel like they owe me an apology but I will not hold my breath. Especially not for people who would rather discuss you in private than actually find out how you are really doing.

During this time, I learnt a lot about social media and how our interactions there affect our daily lives.  I observed just how much people need to be needed. Not to help you or ease your burden but to show off.

Like, hey I am here.

Look at me. I care.

Unfortunately, this is just an online thing. Try calling these people and ask to talk. Or to be listened to. They do not have the time. Why would they? It’s not in the public eye. How will others know that they helped you or that they were there for you?  Most of these offers are for others more than they are for you.

Well, lessons are a good thing. They teach you the hard way. As much as this sucks when you are going through it, you learn to guard your soul in future. I am not necessarily talking about hiding yourself from the world, but being cautious, paying close attention and knowing exactly who is in your corner and who isn’t.

One of the ways I guard my soul is by watching what I choose to share. Depending on how you look at it, sharing your feelings can be a good or a bad thing. Maybe a couple of years back. These days, sharing your feelings or opinions is opening yourself to a lot of trolls. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people sharing their feelings. I actually think it is a good thing.

Just remember to ask yourself what the reasons behind it are.

If you have any doubts, don’t do it. It’s that simple.

If you are putting on a show, I feel bad for you.

Social media has become a shit show and the show changes so fast it’s hard to keep track. One minute you are ‘mourning’ someone the next you are calling out a politician, mara you are fighting Nyakundi forgetting you had shared the same sentiments a couple of months back. It’s a lot going down in one go.

I always wonder where you get all the energy to sustain all that ‘caring’.

How many of you actually follow up?

Have you ever showed concern and followed up a month later or even a week later, you know, when it’s not trending anymore? Or are you those people who wait around for the affected to get back on the trend list or pop up on your timeline with something that will make you ‘care’ again?

I can go on for days but that will not really change anything, now will it? See you on the TL.

 

XOXO

Miss M.