What’s Your Worth, if Any?

When I was around 8 years old my mother called me useless. That is a burden I have carried with me for the past 17 years. Working harder and harder each day to prove her wrong. In school, in church, in everything really going the extra mile with every step. That statement really hit me hard. Unfortunately she has no idea she ever said it. In short, be careful what you say to and in the presence of your kids.

Some two months ago, I got into a row with a supposed promoter about a statement he made. “I needed a band for a gig so I went to KNT and found a kaband that no one even knows then they said they’d charge me 30K. I was like why would you charge that, no one even knows you. I think artists are greedy.” This really got to me. My first question to him was what gives him the right to decide how much they are worth. To start with it’s a band, meaning it probably has a couple of people. Most bands have at least four people so honestly 30K is very kidogo cash. One thing I know is that no promoter would do an event that will result in loses. By the time he/she is approaching you, their pocket if not bank account is already stacked and when they are telling you about their budget, they are reaching out for more coins. This is why I feel no pain when I bargain and the seller agrees to my price. I know no one would sell anything to me if they will go at a loss. They would rather see me walk away. That is my philosophy.

What worth have you attached to yourself? Why would anyone value you at millions if you sell yourself for pennies? I know I wouldn’t. I have always placed myself up there when it comes to the question on worth. I ask questions, which make people think I’m difficult, but I always like confirming that we are on the same page and understand things the same way. Call me difficult but when its business you see a different side of me and it always works. I ask the questions no one else is willing to ask, then they come back and start saying thanks for asking that. Because they don’t want to look bad, well I always look out for myself, it’s never about you.

When someone says ‘jump’ and you ask ‘how high’ instead of ‘why’, you need to look at your life probably from a different angle. You are a puppet. You have handed your power over to someone else. I fail to understand people who help others cheat in relationships and marriages. When someone only calls you after three months asks for nude photos and you send them. After someone calls you after half a year says let’s meet at a lodging or can I come over and you say yes, start running up and down to make them something then you lie to yourself they care, you have lost your power. Your worth is three months in waiting. When a man contacts you after a year and you are quick to spread your legs for him just because he asked, then he goes back home to his wife. Who was he calling that year? Why did he call you? Because he knew you’d jump, perhaps? Maybe because you have shown him that is what you are good for. He can call in the middle of a storm and you will find your way there. You are a puppet. He says thanks on the way out, feeds you lies about how he’s hating his life goes back home kisses his wife and tells her he loves her and you’ll be alone in your bed waiting for three more months, maybe he will call.

Artist are always told that art is for passion so money shouldn’t matter. Given the cause sometimes we won’t care because we know what we are doing is worth something. But passion can only go so far. Unless you live like a president and never pay for anything. You need those paying jobs, your landlord could care less how passionate you are. Your stomach doesn’t care how passionate you are.  Undercutting is a huge barrier to success, when someone tells you they wanted a different artist but couldn’t get them because of a budget and they are now settling for you, you should be offended from here to Mars.  I think if someone wants you bad enough, they will find a way to get you. This applies to all the aspects of your life. You decide what you are worth, as well as what people will think about your worth given what you show. So what is your worth, if any?